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Valentine’s Day: The Biggest Bullshit Holiday Of All

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I have opinions on…everything.

Well, almost everything.

Anyone who knows me knows that.

You can probably gather that just by browsing this site lol.

And sometimes I get a little feisty.

Hey, I own it.

What I am not, however, is a sucker.

Not for lame financial advice.

Not for the ploys of marketing agencies.

I’m certainly not a blind follower of social “rules”.

With that being said, I will let you in on a little secret:

I’m also a romantic.

And that, my friends, is why I think Valentine’s Day is a fool’s “holiday” and a total waste of the concept of a “special” day.

Two glasses of champagne, five red roses and a red box with a silver ribbon as Valentine's Day gifts

Valentine’s Day Is All About Money

Just as a disclaimer, I feel the same way even when I do have someone in my life at this time of the year so it’s not that I’m being bitter at being single!

Why would a supposed romantic be against the concept of Valentine’s Day?

The reasons are simple, yet many.

The first thing I hate about this supposed holiday is how, counter to the popular saying “money can’t buy love”, everything about celebrating the day revolve around spending money.

The overriding message is you can win your partner’s heart with materiality:

  • Jewelry
  • Cars
  • Fancy dinners
  • Expensive trips

Hell, Jennifer Lopez had the balls to write a song called “Love Don’t Cost a Thing”.

I wonder what would happen if her partner just gave her a card with a balloon or a rose.

Or if they made a reservation at a restaurant for which they clipped a coupon for a special Valentine’s Day dinner.

She’d drop his ass, that’s what would would happen! ?

Hollow words…that’s all they are.

It’s all about image, not substance.

And why are past acts of douchery seemingly forgiven because they did something nice for valentine’s Day?

It’s like a someone can be a neglectful asshole or bitch for 364 days, but if they go out of their way to do something special on this one day…BAM!… all is magically forgiven.

Or at least that’s how it appears to work.

It’s not just the money, or social issues that annoy me, it’s the core relationship stuff more than anything.

Valentines Day stupid message
This message says it all…It’s obviously not real love if you don’t give a gift along with saying the words ?

Valentine’s Day Isn’t Anything Special

I have a hard time wrapping my head around why there is so much fuss over this particular day and the things it represents:

  • Why can’t any random day be special? What’s wrong with March 17? Or August 8th? Or better yet…
  • Why is it a once-a-year thing for so many people? Having a special date night each month or even each week set aside is too much hassle perhaps?
  • You can’t tell someone you love them every day and have it mean as much or more?
  • Proposing or getting married on February 14th isn’t even romantic. It’s lame, predictable and overdone.
  • Don’t you want your partner to know that they’re special and loved all the time?
  • Wouldn’t you want to know that you are occupying someone else’s thoughts at random times, not just a day when it’s forced upon them?

Seriously, since when is actually caring for someone with all of your heart not enough?

Why is it that we have to measure affection not in moments spent but dollars?

No, now it’s like we’re being told that if you don’t go out and buy fancy jewelry or even an expensive car that you really don’t care as much as you could f you did those things.

While I’m a big fan of doing things “just because”, wouldn’t this grand gesture day be better suited happening on a day that actually means something?

  • Perhaps the day you first met?
  • Maybe commemorating the first actual date?
  • How about the first time you said “I love you”?

Pretty much anything rather than a day that really has no meaning and when everyone else is doing something similar!

Talk about following the crowd and being uninspired and unoriginal!

Calendar focused on February 14 marked Valentine's Day with chocolate hearts
You don’t need to wait until an arbitrary day on a calendar like valentine’s Day to show your partner how much you love and appreciate them.

Valentine’s Day Isn’t About “Real Love”

Show how much you love them with this diamond blah blah blah

Every jewelry store commercial around Valentine’s Day

Give the gift of performance or luxury or whatever the fuck we’re selling

Every car commercial around Valentine’s Day

I’m not against romance.

Quite the opposite in fact.

I’m for genuine romance.

The kind of romance that is spontaneous.

The kind of romance that comes from the heart, not from marketers.

The kind of genuine romance that leaves someone at a loss for words.

Original gestures that actually mean something, not doing things that some marketer tells you you should be doing or giving.

Not this commercialized, manufactured, nonsensical bullshit.

Why not something like this:

Give the gift of YOU this Valentine’s Day

You know, like actually being present in the relationship rather than trying to make up for your lack of attention or trying to show off how much you can spend.

Or maybe this:

Give him/her/them something they really want this Valentine’s Day–love and attention

Yeah, how about actually showing and proving that you care for someone rather than trying to buy them or their forgiveness.

Wrapping Up

Hey, I’m not a love expert.

Never claim to be.

Your relationship is whatever you want or need it to be.

I’m just a guy who is tired of dealing with the total bullshit that people are fed about what Valentine’s Day is.

If your idea of Valentine’s Day differs from mine, so be it.

If you’re happy, that’s all that matters.

I just know a lot of people need to hear (or read) this because they do feel the same way.

Don’t wait for some far-off day, show the special person in your life how you feel right now! Go send them something from ProFlowers and get a 15% discount! Better yet, send them something from the heart from Personalization Mall (and save 20% with code miles20)!

If you’re still looking for that special someone, you have plenty of options:

eHarmony for people who are less trusting of free dating apps filled with flakes and people looking to just pad their Instagram numbers.

match.com is the largest platform so you know there will be a lot of potential matches.

Our Time is a mature dating site where everyone is 50+.

Lastly, if you’re more religious and prefer to date someone with the same beliefs, you have JDate and ChristianMingle as options to meet your soulmate!

Your Turn

Do you buy into the whole V-Day thing, making elaborate plans or grand gestures simply because it’s “socially required”. Do you take the other approach and express your feelings whenever and for no specific reason other than wanting to? Or, have you given up on love, period?

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Sarah
Sarah
8 years ago

I agree in that it’s not ALL about the women. Men like to feel appreciated and loved too, and I always try to let my partner know that he IS. We do take Valentine’s day as an occasion to go out for dinner, but we don’t give each other gifts.

Eric J. Nisall
Eric J. Nisall
8 years ago
Reply to  Sarah

Woo hoo! I didn’t get bashed by the first female comment! I really think it’s ok to go celebrate in a low-key way like going out to dinner, but when huge productions are made on a day like this rather than a birthday or anniversary of something meaningful it seems comical to me.

Brick By Brick Investing
Brick By Brick Investing
8 years ago

PREACH!!!! This needs to be screamed from the rooftops. I’m so lucky to have my wife because she understands that valentine’s day is a farce and I have to admit it is quite amusing when I see her go on her rants about women who are suckers for an action a guy does on one day out of the year. I believe her best line yet was “Screw the other 364 days out of the year, if he can bring his A game on Feb 14 he’s a keeper!” 😉

Eric J. Nisall
Eric J. Nisall
8 years ago

Yeah, that’s really sad. I’d love to hear what people who think like that say on Feb. 15th when they start getting neglected or mistreated again! This is why I don’t mind being single at this time of the year. Between Valentine’s and New Years, people get nuts.

writeyourownreality
8 years ago

Phenomenal! Couldn’t agree more. I affectionately refer to it as the Hallmark Holiday; no one really benefits in the long-term more than Hallmark.

“Proposing or getting married on February 14th isn’t even romantic. It’s lame, predictable and overdone.” ~ Couldn’t agree any more… I mean who needs originality? Might be interpreted as developing a vested interest…

Eric J. Nisall
Eric J. Nisall
8 years ago

Some people just don’t have it in them to think for themselves. Just like all of the people who signed up to get married on 11-11-11 and 12-12-12, like those days had any significance to the relationships.

Kathleen O'Malley Celmins

Agree wholeheartedly! It’s a day for kids.

Eric J. Nisall
Eric J. Nisall
8 years ago

Don’t forget gullible suckers!

krantcents
krantcents
8 years ago

I agree! My wife and I do our own thing. The real problem is the spouse or girlfriend not getting something at work or they can talk about at work. Not having that make that person feel like a loser. If the couple agree not to celebrate Valentine’s Day and do something all the time , then it can work.

Eric J. Nisall
Eric J. Nisall
8 years ago
Reply to  krantcents

Anyone who cares about what others say or think might deserve to feel like a loser in my opinion. It always bugs me that some random day has more importance than a relevant day like an anniversary in so many instances. I lean completely toward the practice of doing things all during the year rather than trying to make one meaningless day bear all of the importance.

Andrea Whitmer
8 years ago

I like the idea of a card on Valentine’s Day (which was also my request for every other holiday when I was in a relationship), but I’ve never understood people who expect gifts, dinner, and a red carpet for every random date on a calendar. Love this post – lots of common sense here.

Eric J. Nisall
Eric J. Nisall
8 years ago
Reply to  Andrea Whitmer

Every once in a while, I get lucky and all of the rambling comes together in a coherent masterpiece!

Grayson @ Debt Roundup

This one made me laugh. I feel the same way. I have never liked the day. It is just like Christmas, all about gifts.

Eric J. Nisall
Eric J. Nisall
8 years ago

Well, at least for some people, Christmas is about family and they attend church. But in my opinion, all holidays are garbage. Think about it, how the hell can Memorial Day be about partying it up on the beach when the intent is to celebrate those who gave their lives for our freedoms. t’s not like anyone is out there saying “Hey this round is dedicated to those brave folks who enabled us to act like fools out here!”

John Wedding
8 years ago

So, dare I even ask how your Valentine’s Day was? 🙂

Eric J. Nisall
Eric J. Nisall
8 years ago
Reply to  John Wedding

I spent 12 hours at work, so I didn’t have much time to think about it much.

E
E
7 years ago

I never really cared for this day. As a full time working mother, I hate it even more. What are we teaching our kids by giving classmates love notes at age 5? And all junks the kids get go to the trash after a few hours. And the loss of instructional time in the classroom because of the parties. So much family time is wasted getting ready for this day. And I hardly have my kids do much. This year, I got a huge box of pencils for them to give out. This day is a total joke. My husband is lucky!

Eric J. Nisall
Eric J. Nisall
7 years ago
Reply to  E

I really have no idea what to say about that! I’ve never heard of giving out pencils, nor do I understand what the symbolism behind it is. To be honest, it’s more of a fun thing for kids to take part of, and helps build social skills–having them go up to someone and saying something, anything, even a simple “Happy Valentine’s Day”–from a young age. Besides, they have parties for birthdays, which take away from instructional time, should those be eliminated too?

Just Me
Just Me
1 year ago
Reply to  Eric J. Nisall

I see a couple of things. First, *I think that comment (might) have made the points of Not pushing the idea of romantic love on children…they need to be children!

Second, I’m surprised you don’t see the connection between the greeting card companies starting with these Valentine’s for little kids to buy for the class; getting the whole V-day programmed into their little, forming brains early.

Third, I remember kids not wanting to give certain other kids a valentine, or other kids making “EWWW!” comments when that one kid handed them one.

Finally, I do agree with you on the whole. Who even wants something given to them by their S.O. only because society dictates that they HAVE to. To be guilted into this is really sad. Do something special, just because. Or, yes, choose a birthday or anniversary to make a special day.

Thank you for this piece.

Wendy
Wendy
3 years ago

LOVE LoVE LOVE this ! Couldnt have said it better myself . Mybhusbamd and I have been together 20 yrs and I have NEVER wanted him to jump theough the hoops like every other poor sap , spend twice the money because they feel pressured that they “have to” shower their loved one in stuff on this trumped up made up day !! Stop being sheeple – just say no !!! Lol

Anthony
Anthony
2 years ago

True story: An old retired man in Sri Lanka would buy a flower for his wife’s grave every month since she passed away, something he did for her when she was alive. On one particular February (mid 1990s when the BS hit Sri Lanka sponsored by a TV station) he went to buy the flower and his florist told him that the flower he purchase for Rs. 10.00 is Rs. 400.00. He was shocked and asked why… the reason ‘It is valentines day sir and demand is high’… needless to say his wife’s grave went without a flower that month. My wife and I have been married for over 27 years. We NEVER do V-DAY. Our grown up kids also NEVER DO V-DAY!

Debbie D.
1 year ago

I agree with everything you said here! My husband and I will be celebrating our 47th anniversary this August and have no use for Valentine’s Day. We do have a date night every week, plus go all out on birthdays and anniversaries, and any other time we choose to. Love should be celebrated year ’round, and not according to some bogus “holiday” manufactured by the retail industry!

Garcia
Garcia
5 months ago

I don’t like valentines day

Last edited 5 months ago by Garcia
Stelth
Stelth
5 months ago

My wife and I had our 25th wedding anniversary 2 weeks ago. We have never observed nor celebrated the Hallmark Holliday on the 14th of February.